26 April 2006

You Know That I Know That You Wish You Knew Us Better.

So you know Desmond & The Tutus, right? But do you really know Desmond & The Tutus? Here are some little known facts about everybody's favourite party nerds.

There is no ‘I’ in awesome. But there is only one ‘S’ and that ‘S’ doesn’t stand for ‘sandwiches’. It stands for ‘Shane’, bitches. If you like awesome, you’ve come to the right place. Shane sweats awesome, then he collects it in a bucket and drinks his awesome back again – hereby multiplying his awesome every time he rocks because every time he rocks he sweats. The circle of life of awesome continues.

Doug T is awesome. And when you come watch Desmond & The Tutus you’ll understand why. Is it the sidepath? Maybe. Is it the obsession with home-made weapons? Possibly. Is the indescribably awesome sensation that runs over your special love parts when he strums his axe? Oh yes.

Craig is quite possibly the most awesome drummer that you will ever be exposed to in your entire life. Even you Goths that hate to be happy and hate to dance to happy music, Craig will make you dance. Then he'll make you cry for dancing so hard but then he'll make you dance away your sadness so you'll be fine in the end.

If awesome was a species of cow, Nic would be the farmer – milking those cows for every little drop of awesome that their awesome glands could produce. Then does he drink that awesome? No, he puts it in a swimming pool and swims around in it till it becomes awesome cheese. Then he eats it with ham and white bread, and washes it down with a cup of Shane’s sweat. Yum.

1 comment:

  1. Craig!!! It’s true, very true I believe it; I dance to his awesome sounds every morning when I am bathing. I believe he creates these from little drops of sweats from Shane aka ‘Jika- Majika’ when you Alternative-kidz are rehearsing ah? To top it all he AUTOGRAPHED MY COPY OF TUCK_SHOP @ CRAZY 88.