Last week I received some hate mail. I know what you're thinking, "That's awesome! You know you're hitting the big time when you're getting hate mail!" Ja, it wasn't that awesome. Please read on.
At 1:08am, Friday morning (presumably after waking up in a mixture of Strawberry Pops and his own vomit) he sent me this SMS:
u think ur SO innovative but frank black was/is WAY ahead of u - ur actuali sad!
Thanks for pointing out that the lead singer of the Pixies, one of the greatest bands of our or any time, was (and 'is' mind you) better than me. I hate to break it to you Pixies fan but the only thing Frank Black is innovative at doing these days is eating. No wonder the rest of the band hates him, they're all missing body parts thanks to him.
A little later, at 1:11am, he sent a little reiteration:
ie - if you didn't get it - ur lame & pathetic & SO last season - GET OVER IT! (& ESPECIALLY urself)
Cool, I think you made your point in the first SMS but thanks for clearing it up. Just to make sure that we're on the same page here, what you want me to understand is that I'm lame and pathetic AND so last season? That's quite a combo, I feel like I was just Fatality'd by the gay Scorpio in some retarded game of Mortal Kombat.
Anyway, after a lot of research and number tracing and serious CSI zooming into photo jolling I finally found out who the culprit is. It's this little guy in the photo below.
Shame little guy.
Here's his number - 084 513 9430.
Why don't you send the little fellow a word of encouragement, a quick little note to say something like 'Hey man, it's okay! You're different and that's ALRIGHT! If you reach for the stars, and believe in yourself you can achieve your goals, you can do anything a normal person can. You can be somebody you weird little retard psycho guy you.'
Dude, you copped a comparison to Mr Frank! How cool is that? I wish people would compare me to Kim Deal, even if it is on the losing side of the seesaw, but I'm not cool enough. (Frank still rocks live btw). Kudos to you!
ReplyDeleteI agree with him/her, though. You guys are definitely SO LAST SEASON!
ReplyDelete"So Last Season"
Who the hell says that?
People whose favorite movie is 'Clueless' say 'so last season. They also say 'whateverrrrr!' with the thumb and wysfinger of each hand forming a 'W'.
ReplyDeletewhat a pork dork
ReplyDeleteHey, it's OK, guys. I think you're cool, and my kids think you're awesome. So don't worry about the small-minded creatures who can't deal with your genius ... probably just jealous :-)
ReplyDeleteWE LOVE YOU, TUTU'S!!!!!!
Jacs, Dan & Mick in Durbs.