03 May 2006

Merchy Merchy Merchandise!

Now, I know that feeling. That feeling in your stomach. That feeling that you get when all you want to do is think about your favourite rock 'n roll band all the time but you just get caught up and distracted and so it's hard. But we've got a solution for you! How about some fantastic Desmond & The Tutus Merchandise? Would you like that? I know you'd like that. I know you would.

Take a look at some of this fantastic Desmond & The Tutus Memorabilia, now you never have to be away from your favourite rock 'n roll band ever again!

May 2006 Catalogue:

Desmond & The Tutus' SCENTED CANDLES! Perfect for all those nights you spend alone in your crap little house wishing you were jiving to some good old disco music at a Desmond show. Available in various scents: Apple, Bon Jovi's Armpits, Homeless Guy Stench & Awesome.

Do you hate the way you look? Do you sit at home and wish that you had the face of a tiger? Well you're in luck - Desmond & The Tutus' TIGER FACE PAINT is perfect for you!

Let me guess, you're sitting at your computer reading this thinking to yourself: "Man, I would really dig to just go and saw someone in half. That would be so rad." Good news Death Fans! Desmond & The Tutus' MAGIC TRICKS SET is here! Impress your friends and colleagues with 60 amazing tricks including - 'How To Freeze Yourself & Still Be Alive When The Ice Melts In Three Days Time' & 'How To Levitate Up To Four Km's Into The Air With A Clear Plastic Pole'. Wow!

Okay, tell me if this rings a bell? You're an ex-St Stithians boy, you wear leather pants and muscle-tees, and when you go out partying in Rivonia and it rains a little bit it totally messes up your wet-look-gel-look-mini-out-of-bed-fashion-mohawk. Desmond & The Tutus' UMBRELLA HAT is answer! Arrive at your destination with hair that is as perfectly perfect as it was when you left your Summercon townhouse!

Do you have a weird obsession with fruit? But you keep forgetting the names of all the different fruits, because there are so many and they're so difficult to remember? You probably have a brain tumour. Anyway, Desmond & The Tutus' FRUIT POSTER is just what you need. To help you remember the names of the fruits, that is - there's nothing we can do about your tumour.

Are you a chump? Then Desmond & The Tutus' CHINO SHORTS are just what you need.

Hey you! Yes you! You in the loin cloth! You with the long black hair and feathers! No, not you Cher - I'm talking about the Native American Indian guy behind you. The Desmond & The Tutus' TEEPEE is perfect for you!

The Desmond & The Tutus' CARPHONE! It's a phone that looks like a car! What more do you want?

Are you in the habit of stumbling into complicated murder mysteries that coincedently happen wherever you go on holiday? Well then the Desmond & The Tutus' ANGELA LANSBURY is perfect for you! Don't let those pesky unsolved murder cases get in your way any more, you've got your very own Angela!

Are you a wrestler? Would you like your head to stay not squashed between the thighs of an overweight Chinese 8 yr old? Then the Desmond & The Tutus' WRESTLING HELMUT is perfect for you!

Order a t-shirt HERE for only R120. That's like nothing. So what are you waiting for? Buy one today!


  1. Anonymous10:31 PM

    i dig this site :)

  2. Anonymous10:55 AM


  3. nei my bru
    you are too good at wutt you do.